Tumblr..Meet Bowie. n_n

On the Friday night, the 10th of March 2012, one of my closest friends Jakob Anderson passed away. He was hit and killed by a train whilst attempting to hang off the back of the train. He was passed away at Lewisham train station in Sydney, Australia. He was seventeen years young, too young to be taken away from his wonderful friends and family. He deserved a long and happy life, but I can assure you he lived the past few years so wonderfully and happily.

This death has hit me and his friends so hard, more than anybody could ever understand. I couldn’t eat for 3 days, and sleep for 2. I haven’t stopped crying, and everythings just been a big blurry mess. I could go on with lots of depressing & sad stuff, but this post, I really want to focus on the positive and all the beautiful and amazing things about Muffles and his life and our friendship.

Jakob, or ‘Muffles’ to me, and ‘Jezebel’ to many of his other friends, was one of the most amazing people I ever met. He was one of my closest and best friends for 6 whole years. Not only was he one of my closest friends, he was also my longest. We managed 6 long & wonderful years with no fights, or silly little arguments or anything like that. And from that I realised he was my only true friend, who stuck with me through thin and thick, and never gave up on me and let things tear us apart.

I met Muffles when we were awkward, shy and weird 11 year olds. We met on our first day of high school and it became apparent that we were different from everybody else around us in our year group. We certainly didn’t fit in with everyone, and thats what made us click. And by the end of the year we were sitting together every lunch time, always hanging out, saving each other seats in class and getting to know each other. It was brilliant. And as the years progressed, we became closer and closer. We spent more and more time together, and got extremely close. At one point, we were even more than friends. It was in Year 8 and we decided to get ‘married’ in the tree area at school. It was hella embarassing because half our year group surrounded us and we awkwardly kissed infront of everybody else. That was my first high school kiss :3 And when we went back to being just friends, we grew even more close. We began growing up and all the typical teen issues arised and we were trying to deal with them. We were extremely lost and confused, and didn’t exactly know how to deal with them, but we did have each other. We told each other everything, and I mean everything. We both had problems with everything from sexuality, to identity, to friends, to family and to relationships. And no matter how awkward or weird it was to say, we were so open with each other could talk about anything and everything. It was the most wonderful feeling because I never had a friend like that, ever. And it was so wonderful to go all your life with shit friends and no trust for anybody and then meet that one person who you know you can depend on. It was the most wonderful feeling ever, and this infinite and amazing trust we had just made my high school days so happy. When I moved schools at the end of Year 9, we were at our closest I’d like to think. You were so devestated that I had to leave you there, but you didn’t let that affect us and we still saw each other all the time. You would wait for me almost every afternoon with Brandon and Ty and others at Burwood every afternoon, and we’d just talk and hang like all the other times and it made me so happy that you cared that much. The year later, when my long term ex boyfriend broke up with me, I was so depressed and alone. And you helped me so much to get over that. Youd’ see  me everyday during the holidays, and you’d cuddle me and play with my hair and make sure Im not alone and know that Im wanted. You and everyone else helped me get through that so much, and I could never thank you enough for that. For the rest of the year we hung out every weekend and every day during the holidays. We’d go on crazy adventures and do crazy things and go to wonderful obscure places and tell me hilarious stories and make me laugh and smile like crazy. It was one of the most amazing times of my life that I’ll never forget. I didn’t see as much of you last year as I saw the previous year which made me sad, but I would get so excited & happy every time I saw you. Seeing you would truly make my day every time. The last time I saw you was at Strathfield a few weeks ago with my mother. I wish I knew it was the last time I could see you so I could have given you a proper hug goodbye.

But aside from our friendship story,

Muffles was unlike anybody else I ever knew, he had a mind like no other and had a way of thinking like nobody else did. He saw the beauty in the ugly, the wonderful in the horrible, the amazing in the worst, and made everything from crazy to wonderfully weird. I think that’s what people will remember you most for. You saw so much beauty in the world, you saw so much beauty in everything and everyone. And you expressed it in the most sweetest of ways. You loved nature so much, you were just so physically and emotionally connected to the earth it was so beautiful. You loved to climb trees, you were an expert climber and could climb to the highest of the highest trees. You would sit there and just watch over everything below, sometimes we’d converse with you in the treee and me not, or you’d even sleep there. Your favourite tree was in Burwood Park near the gazebo, when I have the time I’m going to carve your initials on the tree trunk because you loved it so dearly. You loved flowers, and always had flowers in your hair and we used to make flower chains at school. Im leaving beautiful daisies tomorrow at Lewisham station where you left. You loved animals, and cats! Your cat was adorable and you loved mine too. n_n I hope that you become a tree spirit.

You truly were a free spirit, full of peace and love. You believed in free love, and sharing the love around. You respected and loved anybody regardless of their gender, race, sexuality and everything else, and encouraged everybody to think the same way. When we were in Year 9 and you told me you enjoyed dressing like girls, you sat me down and showed me all the beauty in that and how wonderful everybody is regardless of what they do and who they like and how they dress. You never judged, ever ever ever. You never had anything bad to say about anyone, you saw positive things even in the most horrible people and circumstances. The only thing you could not stand was liars, and so I was so happy that I had a friendship with you where I never had to lie.

You were so lovely to everyone, and had a heart of absolute gold. You loved your friends so much, more than anything. You always had time for them and to spend time with them, you never left or ditched anybody. You never caused fights with anyone, and always  kept the peace with everybody. You always took the time to compliment everybody, but always in the most weirdest of ways. But you were so wonderfully weird like that. You made everybody feel so loved, and cared for, and appreciated. I can only hope that your friends made you feel the exact same wayy, because we all tried our absolute hardest. We all loved you so fucking much, more than anybody could ever understand or comprehend.

You lived life as best as you could and made the absolute most out of your teenage years, which truly were the happiest times of your life. You did what you wanted, and didn’t give an absolute fuck what anybody thought. You let people judge you and talk, it didn’t affect you. You lived life exactly how you wanted, you didn’t let anybody tell you what to do or try and stop you from being happy. You didn’t let anybody stand in the way of your dreams, if you wanted to do something you went out and did it. You had the courage to stand up for yourself and fuck off anybody who stood in the way of that. You were such a strong and brilliant person that way. It truly was so incredibly and inspirational. While everybody was stuck in a boring routine and structured life which revolved around boring school and boring work..You went out and lived your life. You didn’t have time or care for that. While I was in class, you were going on amazing adventures and exploring amazing parks and rivers and forests and incredible places. You did what made you happy, and that’s all that mattered.

You were so intelligent and smart for somebody your age. You could speak amazingly in German, and could speak fluently by the time you were 15. You knew how to speak the fucking Avatar language! I mean i dont know anybody else who can say a sentence let alone a whole language. You enjoyed speaking Na’vi to everybody, even though we couldnt understand it haha. You could also speak wonderfully at French. You somehow knew everything and everything, you were so good at history and you could recount every major world event that happened ever and I never understood how the fuck you did that.

You tried teaching me German so many times, you would speak to me in Na’vi and I would reply with gibberish, one time we went to Leichardt in the most earliest time and just lie in the park there and be high, one time we got high and we spent the whole time listening to Infected Mushroom songs and layed down in the park and giggled at everything and tried to find shapes in all the clouds. Every lunch time at school we’d lie in the grass and listen to Radiohead and smile and be happy. We used to be so competitive over which guy from Short Stack we wanted to get with. You were so crazy about Shaun oh my wow, you cut your hair and wore clothes to match him to the exact core it was so hilarious. You introduced me to The Mighty Boosh and wed’ watch it all the time. We’d scare ourselves silly at 3am and watch all the scary Rammstein film clips. We’d steal Sonja’s ipod and drown ourselves in The Dresdon Dolls, you loved them so much. We got so excited over Robots In Desguise and hated Dee Plume so much when she got with Noel Fielding. i remember when Melanie bought her stripper boots to school and you got so excited to wear them, you did like a million laps around the tree area cause you were desperate to wear them. I have it on film somewhere on my old phone. One time we got bored in Maths so we made up our own language, and forgot about it a day later aha. We used to make crank calls with Ricky to Chinese resteraunts and put on the funniest accents ever. When Candy Mountain was created and it became my favourite place to be ever. I remember when I had my first smoke with you at Candy Mountain, we felt like major badasses and rebels but we looked back on it and called ourselves major losers. One time we had nothing else to do so we sat in Hungry Jacks for two hours and just talked and laughed about everything. Another time you wrapped me in string from head to toe at the Gabba Dome. At Concord Festival we were so happy to see each other after like 2 months and we spent forever hugging. I had never climbed anything before in my life before that day, and I was so scared of heights. But you helped me to climb ontop of the canteen/toilet roof at Concord Oval, it was really high but so much fun when we got to the top and could see everything. Another time we went over Anthony’s house and we were so obsessed with his hiptop we spent a zillion hours taking photos on his super cool camera. When you started wearing nailpolish and rings in Year 8 and everyone called you gay and I called you my own personal copy of Noel Fielding..you had the biggest smile on your face. I loved the little cap between your two front top teeth, it was so cute.

I loved you so much Muffles, you were honestly everything I wanted in a best friend. I am forever greatful for the amazing friendship I had with you over these past several years. I will always remember all the happy & wonderful times and memories with you, they’ll stay with me for the rest of my life. You were honestly one of the most amazing and kindest and caring people I ever met and ever will meet. I could never thank you enough for the time I had with you, and how much you made me smile and laugh like crazy. I just wish I had the chance to properly tell you all of this and say goodbye before you passed so suddenly. You were such a handsome and beautiful and wonderful person, inside and out, and so wonderfully weird and crazy in every single way. We loved that so much about you, everybody did. I am so truly sad to see you go, but I am happy in a way because I know that you’re in a happy and safe place and in eternal happiness away from pain and suffering. I know you’re looking down on all your friends and family, and please keep close to your baby brother & sister. I know how much you loved them and they truly would have needed you close by to them. They’re going to miss you so much, but when they’re older, me and all your friends are going to sit them down and tell them all these wonderful stories about you and who you were and what you did. They will love it and be happy. It’ll be wonderful. Look after your mummy and watch over her, she’s hurting so much right now. I know you’re now an angel, you’re my angel and I am going to look up to you everyday and smile because I know you’re smiling back. I know I will never, ever ever forget you ever. You’re too special and wonderful to forget. You’ll never be replaced, everybody is going to love you and celebrate your life for the rest of their lives. I love you so so much, I always and always will and one day I will see you again. Rest easy in paradise my angel. <3